Planetary Nebula: The End of a Star.
*Flight log recording playback - Star date 2437 outside outside of Nova Prime*
Clem: Cowboy! One tango 4 o’clock low! Weapons armed and attempting lock!
Flawless: Dang it clem! Where did they come from!?
Clem: They must have been clocked and waiting for us!
Flawless: Just our damn luck, jam there coms, they ain’t talking to nobody now.
Clem: Coms have been jammed. We have been locked and two torpedoes have been fired.
Flawless: speed up to 70% thrusters, let's make them think we are slower then we are. Give the AMS system the power it needs, those can’t hit us!
Clem: Understood cowboy, systems engaged.
Flawless: Man, this guy is right on us, he seems to have our number. Let him catch up a bit, I got a plan.
*The AMS system comes to life and a whine of the twin linked mini guns begins firing at the incoming projectiles*
Clem: Both torpedoes down. The tango has engaged shields and I detect a PPC powering up.
Flawless: Thinks we are going to hit him with energy weapons huh? Well, I’d say this twisted game needs a reset. Clem, when he gets in range, fire reverse thrusters, it’s our turn now!
Clem: The Gs that will put on you may kill you!
Flawless: Just do it!
*The combat computer sounds like a xylophone falling down a flight of stairs with all the alerts registering. Clem complies with the command and kills the forward thrusters and turns on the reverse ones. Cowboy is thrown against his restraints and feels a rib crack under the pressure, the pain along with all the blood rushing to his head starts making him red out.*
Flawless (whispering): I see an ocean of stars.
There are so many people you get to meet on your travels. They light up that black abyss, changing it from an empty void, scary and unforgiving, to a bright beautiful kaleidoscope that you can navigate by.
It’s an interesting thing really, going out of your comfort zone and meeting new people. I look back at that first time I saw the x-wing core set at Barnes and Nobles and look at that as a nexus point in my life. Sounds crazy and hyperbolic, but it’s not really. If I had never purchased a box of plastic spaceships, the amount of people in my life that I love and value would be miniscule to where it is now.
The year is 2017.
I’ve brought into the X-wing Miniatures game and started attending events. My first large event I went to was the Naboo Open. I brought four T-70 x-wings and a dream. I didn’t think I would do well, but the game is called x-wing and I was going to play the ship I thought was the coolest (that being a T-70 x wing). A buddy drives a group of us to the convention center and it’s here that I first meet my good friend and editor Pat (The Wildcard Cowboy). I didn’t think then that we would soon be traveling across the north east playing this silly little game, but we did. Pat, if you are reading this, (he edits it so I know he does), I want you to know that I love and value you for all the things you do for this little blog in the corner of the internet, along with being a great friend over the years. We have been through a lot in all of our travels, but I would not have wished anyone else had been there with me. Thank you for everything. (Editor’s Note: I’m not crying, your crying)
Back to Naboo; I was scared to see well over a hundred players in attendance. My first opponent was some guy named Chris Allen. He comes across immediately as a real nice guy and I’m grateful to have my first opponent be a dude who is chill. I needed that. I plop my 4 x wings on the table in a little formation, and look across to see him playing Rau Boats (two Jump masters and Fenn Rau in a fang fighter). I don’t recall the specifics of the game anymore, but the “Joust me you coward” tactic seemed to work and I pulled out the win somehow. To my surprise he was really happy I won with what I had and congratulated me on the victory. Chris, if you are reading this, you are one of the nicest guys I have ever met, I have love for you as well. Do you still have that copy of Shiba inu house? If so, next big event we should play. Keep being a positive force in the community; I always look forward to seeing you at events, even if it’s just for a second. You never forgot about me and I am always a little moved when you make time to say hello. The Krayt podcast was the first I listened to, and I was shocked to hear my list called out, and to be invited on the show after that to discuss the list. I thought it was cool then, and still do today.
Going into round two I am reeling. I didn’t think I would win even one game but here I am. My next opponent is Ahriman Attackus (if you know you know). That sends me to see Rau boats across the table again (I am being introduced to the meta at this point). Again, seems like a real nice dude (and turns out he is) and the game goes almost to time. The last shot of the game is one of my “Baby Blue” x wings taking a pot shot at Fenn Rau trying to get away to win on points killed. If I remember correctly I got a crit through that turned into a direct hit (meaning two damage instead of one) and that was enough to kill the ship. I sat down in my chair like a sack of bricks, flabbergasted that I managed to pull off the win. Ahriman, you are a champion to me and I extend my love for you as well. You never miss an opportunity to invite me out making sure I am included even if I can’t make it. I remember all the times you have extended your generosity and bought me food at times when I didn’t really have the money to do so myself. From the pizza at Origins Game Fair to all those stew hot pockets (Pasties?) at NOVA open. You are the kindest person I have the pleasure of knowing and nothing you have done for me is forgotten. Now that my life is on a way better path I pass on the generosity you have shown to me to others. You have touched a life, in doing so you have inadvertently helped many more. Thank you.
So, I just won two games and I am gobsmacked. I step into round three and meet Duncan Howard, now a legend of the game. As I am just starting the first turn of the game, the person I came with tells me he is leaving after losing his opening two games, and he will come back to pick me up. Just like that the event became one in which I was with friends to one in which I was alone. I was shocked, but what could I say? I don’t remember the game that well, a mix of surprise that I was left at an event where I didn’t know anyone else and quickly realizing the dude across the table was a much better player than me (I honestly think I got lucky the first two games). Duncan was a great opponent and he was flying a version of Rau boats if I remember correctly. I lost that game, but what I did gain was another friend I would continue to see at all these events. Duncan is not just one of the best X-wing players around, but also a real fun dude to hang out with. Another person who will make time at events and come say hi to me. I don’t get to hang out with him as much as I want to at events, but when I do it’s always a good time. You're a really good guy Duncan, and I extend my love and well wishes to you.
The rest of the event is a bit of a blur and I don't remember much else, except getting cards signed by Paul Heaver, multiple time World Champion. Another cool gesture from another kind and compassionate person. Thank you Paul, I will hang that on my X-Wing 1.0 collage .
Come to think of it, the Carolina Krayt community has introduced me to a lot of great people, and if I had not played this game, and not played Chris at the event, I would have not met any of them.
Travis, we only got to play once up in Canada I think and you got me good with Trip jumpmasters I think (it may have been Dangaroo, but that’s not important). That was a really fun game and your insight to the game over the years has always been interesting and informative. I thought it was really cool when I sent my rebel army out to LVO (I think?) and got to see the highlights of you playing it. That was awesome.
Nam-My, I don’t know if we have ever met in person. But you are always happy to see me in chats and have always made me feel welcome. You run a great discord, and it's the main one I reside in besides the one I run. A lot of what you did helped me get through the lockdown by staying connected to my friends. Thank you.
Andrew Twa, you set up a secret santa a long time ago and I was in the first round of it. It was in the “Even didn’t have any money phase” and all I could send out was a blu-ray of Red line. I think you were Santa for me and you sent me an amazing package. Some alt art cards, a stuffed Chewie, a salt rock lamp, it was all great. I felt bad my gift didn;t match the generosity of yours, but I was working a very lonely job at the time and this was a real high point in my life at the time. Thank you.
There are more people I would like to thank from that group (Jeremy C., Ryan S., Izzy, Tyler T., and Aaron U. to name a few), but this is running long as it is. I could write another 1000 words about all of them, and that’s just the x-wing people in my life. Not to mention all of the people I have met in the Star Wars Legion community. Someday I will write about all of them too, they deserve to be acknowledged as well, but I think it’s time to get to the catalyst of this article. The reason I decided to even write this.
Flawless (whispering): I see an ocean of stars, and they stretch on forever.
“The” Zack Mathews.
The year is 2024.
On April 29th at 5:06 pm est an announcement came across the Carolina Kraytes discord. Zack Mathews, a very good friend of mine and to many, many people, has had a severe stroke.
I have had people in my life that have survived stroke with a good quality of life after the fact, so I was not immediately alarmed. Chris Allen (god bless him) kept us up to date with what was happening and even set up a “go fund me” going for the more disconnected of us to help support our friend. As the days passed though, the outlook of things was worse and worse.
I am going to refrain from any more detail about that event as I do not want to make people relieve the pain, nor do I want to invade on the privacy of those affected most. What I will say is the amount of love and support that came from the communities he supported and lived in was phenomenal. The amount of people's lives he touched is hard to understate. The money that was raised along with everyone's well wishes, prayers, hopes, and positivity directed toward him was incredible.
My first Meeting with Zack was not back at the Naboo open, but it was with a few small interactions here and there when I got invited onto different podcasts. Turns out that 4 T-70 x wings was unheard of at the time for doing well at a big open. This was my first dip into content creation really. I didn’t create anything, I just went on the casts and talked about my ships. It was funny, they were asking me what my strategy was and all I could say was “Move forward and shoot”. I got the nickname of “T-70 bro” from that podcast, and the rest is history.
A few months after the Naboo Open, I head down to South Carolina for a team event with Pat. We had just barely met and decided to fly down together to play in the Team event that the Kraytes had set up (Editor’s Note: Evan fell asleep and left me at the airport). We are both a little nervous because we don’t REALLY know anyone down here, but then I hear a “is that T-70 bro?!” from across the room. A man runs up to me and gives me a very aggressive hug and says he is happy that I came down for the event. That was my first time meeting Zack, and it was very memorable to say the least. I followed him on the Krayt podcast and in chat groups we were both in, but I was mostly a lurker back then. It felt like the cool kids were letting me sit in the room with them (this was before discord really took off). I can’t remember the next time I saw him in person, but it felt like at most every big event. I will always remember him remembering me even though we didn’t see each other that much or even hang out too much really, but I always really appreciated it.
Let's fast forward a bit. It’s mid pandemic and Zach reaches out to me about Star Wars Legion. I have been doing a podcast about the game for a while and have started to become A Name™ in the community. I was thrilled that Zach had reached out to me on how best to get into the game. I finally felt like I knew what I was talking about and I could help with the best of my knowledge. He ends up playing in a basement with his friends and would tell me about the “Basement Meta” and how much fun he was having. It was really refreshing to hear him talk about the game like that. When you get into the content creation space, it can really burn you out on the hobby you used to love and you start losing sight of why you even like it to begin with.
I had left the x-wing scene a while ago at this point, but all of the people I had made friends with still would take time to come say hi to me or vice versa. It was awesome to me to start playing a game that Zack was playing again. He had a lot of things to say about the game, whether I agreed with them or not, they were fun to listen to. I will always remember the first time he asked me on his podcast “Deploy the Garrison” and acted like HE was honored to have me on. I felt the need to remind him the honor was mine. That also introduced me to Alan and Kris. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that they are both great guys. I’ve always had a great time making podcasts with them and getting to see them at Adepticon this year was a real treat. I hold them both in my heart as I write this knowing that they lost a dear friend too, as they were closer to Zack than I ever was. My love and well wishes goes out to both of them.
When Zack said he wanted to run Ewoks at Adepticon this year but didn’t have enough, I had some shipped to his house soon after. In trade he gave me a rack of beer as was tradition. I wish I had gotten to play him in a real game of legion. He ended up going 4-0 at the last chance qualifier (“kraytes on top” as they say). I wish I had tried to spend more time with him at Adepticon.
“Why is he writing all of this?” is a question you may be asking. I guess it’s one of my ways I am dealing with the grief of loss. The news of his passing hit me hard, as he was one of my favorite people to see at these large events. I thought I was doing ok, then as I was watching an episode of Bob’s burgers (Eps. Show Mama From the Grave) I started to deeply weep. That’s when I figured I should clear my weekend plans and self reflect for a while.
I don’t have a significant other or any children. Seeing people at these events always feels like seeing a “found family”. I have a great relationship with my parents and I love them both deeply, but connections like this are a different sort of thing. It recharges me in a way. The games themselves are not really the point. The “Best part of x wing weekends” is getting to spend time with your friends, not so much the game.
In the end, I am writing this to tell the people who have affected my life positively that I love and care about them. We tend to not always tell people in our lives what we truly feel about them while they are around, and regret it when something terrible happens. Do me a favor and tell someone who you care about that you do care. Call an old friend and reconnect. Next time you play a board game at a FLGS, invite the person sitting alone to see if they want to play with you. You never know when a new friend is just a short conversation away.
“The” Zack Mathews was a Lover of animals, his family, God, and of people overall. I don't think there will be an event I go to that I wont think of him. I extend my love to him and his family. I'll see you in the Ink brother, save a spot in your squadron for me. I'll be your wingman any day.
Flawless (whispering): I see an ocean of stars, they stretch on forever, and it’s beautiful.
*A voice sounds from a distance calling a name, it’s hard to make out but it’s getting louder*
*Cowboy…. Cowboy…. Flawless… EVAN!*
*Cowboy’s vision come into focus and the warning lights of combat scratch around him”
Cowboy: *Groggily* Clementine… status…
Clem: Your maneuver worked! We have been riding the tango’s tail hard. Weapons are now locked on
Cowboy: Well then, time to show him why shield’s are a waste on me.
*To ports open on the front of the ship relieving a pair of full auto scatter guns. Shields work on newer energy weapons, but nothing stops hot lead.*
*a five second full auto shower of lead slams into the unknown craft as they shed the hull*
Cowboy: Clem, unjam coms.
Clem: Done.
Cowboy: I don’t know who you are or what you wanted, don’t much matter to me at this point. But I do have one last final thing to tell ya, “Bucks in Six”.
*the auto scatter guns open up again and shred what was remaining of the ship*
Clem: Signs of life are zero.
Cowboy: Sounds good to me. Set a course for Mars, could go for a drink right about now.
